My 40th birthday is less than a month away, so I found this article I wrote nearly a whole year ago and am finally posting it. My behavioral changes included actively “doing less” – apparently blogging was a part of that. 🙂

Yesterday was my 39th birthday. I notice this number, the almost 40 number. I think about the decades passed and the halfway point. A lot. 

I’m not shy about this age, and I’m not scared of it. I’m doing pretty darn well. I feel confident that the Victory Lap Of My Thirties will be incredible.

I feel so good at this moment because of recent adjustments to myself. When I say that I’ve been practicing behavioral change for five weeks, it seems insignificant. But I recognize the true change, and I believe I’ve turned over a new leaf. I’m committed to seeking better.

I found a passage in my journal written September 9, 2024, that reads singularly in big letters, “EVERY DAY NEED NOT BE HARD.”

I noticed the woe around then. I see now how I’ve carried the distress and sorrow around. Sometimes on my shoulder like a squawking parrot. Sometimes in my back pocket, hidden but ready to pop out at any minute. Sometimes deep inside my chest like an extra organ.

I default to pleasing. I know this… Even when I forget. I’ve learned it is mostly a safety mechanism. From my early existence, if I could please, then I could affect positive status quo and moods. The world around me could be calmer and kinder. I would minimize trouble that way.

Five weeks ago, I had an epiphany. One big one? A few? It stemmed from “enough is enough.” Since I really said yes to making change, I have had continual brush-ups with omens and content that validate my sentiments, that remind me to rally, to be sturdy and honest.

One such line from my audio book, that a father writes his daughter in a letter, “The world will try to take more than you have to give.”

And then when I watched The Matrix (which is super themed on freeing your mind) Morpheus says, “There’s a difference between knowing the path and walking the path.”

Shortly after my epiphany, I started making waves. I basically started creating boundaries all around me, especially with my work and my kids. It does not mean I’m neglecting anything or anyone. It just means I cannot keep saying “HOW HIGH” when they all say “JUMP.” My operational mode of late was not sustainable. I have been breaking, and will completely crack under that pressure.

Small behavioral changes…

*Saying “in a minute” / “later” / “not right now” to my kids. Expressing that Mommy is a person with feelings and limitations too.

*Seeking solitude in small intervals. Early morning coffee and plant watering. Evening stretching and foam rolling.

*Actual exercise. Endorphins, serotonin, blood flow and strength to lessen pain.

*Tiny gratitude sessions. Stopping for 2 minutes to think my blessings and say them aloud.

*Setting realistic turnaround times for client projects. Recognizing that ASAP cannot be every deadline. Strongly evaluating if work must be done on nights and weekends instead of just doing it and never protesting.

I’ve been doing all this for five weeks. Look at me go!

It’s like I had the pieces of the puzzle all along. But I needed a holistic shift and acceptance to see how they fit together – and to be ready so that walking the path to change did not also feel like a chore.

I’m not alone. I feel a oneness with all, in fact. That’s what begins to make me saddest. The imprisoning systems and impossible expectations.

So, I’m freeing my mind. I’m choosing my needs sometimes. I’m vocalizing those – even to people I love dearly. I’m fortifying me – to be better for YOU.